Friday, October 24, 2014

after more than one year

hello! *greeting myself*
i know tade sapa pon yg baca thats y.. but adeeb shared with  me that bottling up emotions can lead to depressions and if you have no one to talk to write a blog or journal.. but i have him.. you'd always be the one listening kannnn... okay... so it has been MORE THAN ONE YEAR since last ive updated my blog.. da berhabuk tebal da.. *amek kain buruk lap*.. ngeee.. so tonyte mcm ada mood plak nak mngarang..okay.. lets start with my study path..

since egypt is not safe anymore according to the news.. my parents decided not to let me fly there  anymore and that means im no longer a medical student in egypt.. so since result spm teruk ive decided to change course to an easier one and that is TESl.. *memang sy admit english buatsy rasa pndai* haha.. so end of september yg sepatutnya fly jdi orientation week kat unisel.. oklaaa.. tak susah sgt pon nak adapt.. for the first and second sem alia duduk hostel.. hostel dea bestt.. teres dua tingkat 4 bilik tp yg tak bestnya ialah.. jarak hostel ngan uni is 20 km.. gilaaa kan!


some of coursemate

sooo... satu rumah tu 12 org taw duduk mula2 and then jdi 11 then 10till we're left with 9.. smpaila hbis sem 2.. byk sgt ups n downs dlm rumah tu.. kat situla jmpa one of best buddy SYARIHAN.. deala rumet..hosmet..carmate..classmate..coursemate.. semua bnde dealah kiranya.. bila masuk sem 3 kitaorg duduk rumah sewa konon da tak than nak serumah ngan yg laen.. hahaha poyo je!! 
foundation year ended last september and alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah tiga tiga sem dpt dean list and final cgpa is 3.77.. syukur sgt coz allah made it easy this time..  now alia kat penang!! bercuti umah pakcik makcik and jdi nanny to 2 toddlers cousin.. cute budak2 ni.. hehe.. tak tahu da apa nak ckp.. so far 2014 oklaaa n i hope ill be better in the future.. tade idea sgt nak type apa!!


totnak ckp pasal bf yg sekarang jauh di mata tp.. tp.. not tonyte kot!
since tak taw nak type apa sy blanja gmbar jelaaa....


ni masa hari raya aidilfitri.. 

different angle of same picture..

ni la si manis KHADIJAH AMANI. toddler yg livig with me tu

younger brother fadhil

from left.. umi adek(6/9), me, iman, umilah (3/9)

big smile of deeejahhhhh

this is one of the props for one of my assignments.. backdrop for drama

meeeee

rafiqah... she'scute!! coursemate of course!!

well inilah syarihan yg i mention to.. sgt baik..anggun..lawa..kurus.. semua yg baik dealah orgnya!

my drama group right after the drama

final exammeyyyhhhh

result MUET.. alhamdulillah sgt!!

the exam hall... gerun!!

Friday, January 17, 2014

#current mood #SAD

dear readers..
i know i shouldnt feel this way.. i am super duper sad.. i feel that life is unfair.. looking at what others have compared to what i have.. i found that i have NOTHING! i know it sounds that im not grateful.. but.. i just cant help it..

i dont have a happy family.. my brother keeps on making problems.. my dad is sick.. my mum always nag.. none of us succeed in our study..my dad always looked stress.. i dont even feel like going back home whenever im far.. i dont feel happy living in my house.. i used to cry whenever im home.. my mum would always prioritise my bro.. i always being blamed, being nagged and i cant accept it...i didnt love my family.. if only i cn say that i hate em.. i'll let them know.. its killing me to be home... crazy, huh?

well, when it comes to study, i didnt score my SPM but i managed to fly to egypt to do medicine with my parents support but after a year.. here i am in malaysia doing foundation for B.Ed.. sucks huh? yeahh.. my life wasnt easy.. i screwed up every thing.. every single thing.. i hate my life..  the path that has been set up for me is full of screwed up things.. life is really unfair..

i always have to fake my smile.. i dont feel like coming home.. i hate my bro.. i hate my family..im sooo sad coz i cant let people know bout it.. stressful!!! iwanna end this.. anybody who'sfacing the same problem as mine? do share how umanage urs!! thank you...